i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
