whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
