i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
