Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just want nice things and good sex
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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