Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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