Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
