you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
