So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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