Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This baby is an asshole
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
