well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
