Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
