His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
