my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
