drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize