The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
