Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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