Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize