the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
