Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
