So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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