Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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