Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
