he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
