He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
