id be glad to
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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