you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
