Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
