where am i from again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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