i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
