Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize