HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
