Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
