this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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