Do vagina's smell?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
