Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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