Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have aggressive nipples.
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