She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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