i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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