Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
