hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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