And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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