uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
