i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
my poor anus
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
