I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize