he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
