suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
