Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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