Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
