and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
