i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
