he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize