The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
