yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
