I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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