it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
