I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
