everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I need to stop coming to work sober
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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