So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
