So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
