My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
