I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
