i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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