the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
