i think my tv is drunk
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
