I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she looked like the before picture.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just gargled with NyQuil
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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