We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I died a long time ago.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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