my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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